When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize