If i come over, it means nothing
My hand turned me down
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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