It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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