Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you win again, gameday.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
