you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
