porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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