i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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