do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
