well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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