like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
