YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
