she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize