Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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