I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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