This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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