problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
