i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
