i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
