Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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