My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
