i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize