Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize