you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
