I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My life is pants optional.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
