i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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