Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
