pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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