his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
