rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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