Nicole vs. Life
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize