so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
