I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
