I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
