I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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