Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
