So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
