he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
