8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Rumble strips road head = magical
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
