never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you had me at cake vodka
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
