Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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