What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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