Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
