I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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