If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
