i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
