True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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