he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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