Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
