So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
