I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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