oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
