I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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