Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
