Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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