This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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