hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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