so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
