I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
