but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize