i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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