If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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