So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize