i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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