there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh god it's open bar.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
